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Episode 163
<-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 164|Next Episode -->]] Length: 2:47:52 Hosts: Kate Matt Faggot Alex briefly Guest: TURbo Chris Ott David Willy and Rich Danger Dick Hotsauce Colina at PAX East Intro: Closing Song: Jan Hammer - Crockett Theme Vice City Content Covered: Zelda Most favorite Zelda? Least favorite Zelda? Most disappointing Zelda? Favorite Zelda character? Actual sausage segment Madden Gifs David is on so horror movies and TV shows Notable Facts: 26:30 Random Assault speaks to the people at PAX East at the Westin Lobby *Alex - What a bunch of assholes I'm at PAX. *Willy - Hello Matt. I hate you, I love you. *Alex - Dave is on the show without me. What an assholeface. *Willy - Dave I hate you. I'm so Matt right now. *TURbo - I drank 16 bonus sodas fuck Dave. *Alex - Hi Kate I love you. *Kate - Really? *Alex - I want to fondle your breasts and meet you. I'm glad I could fuck up the show. Funny Stories and Quotes Kate *Matt listening to you talk you never left the 90's. *Milo all he is there for is to swing his big fat spread legs in front of your face so you can smell his balls until you find a sword and shield. **Matt - I like this version of the story. *The thing about comic books is that I don't like to buy them. David did it because he was retarded. *My sword was limp and I had to jerk it off. *You're a flip flopper like one of those liberals. **Dave - No I'm not *Too many people confuse weird and wrong. I don't know where people lost their balls but they need to find them. *CM Punk is a faggot because he is a wrestler. *That's gay. *Metal Gear Revengence makes me mad. **Dave and Mitch - It's awesome! *MGS 2 Kojima was right about the internet. *World War 2 is the last war people feel good about. Matt *In my head. Rhymen Hymen Flippy Floppy Bitches. *I deal with enough fucking Indians in one day. I don't need another one. *You fell for my trap and got a dick stuck in your butt. *Who's the comedian that speaks like the character who looks like Homestuck? *Fuck reading. Reading is for gaybos. *Alex opened the airlock. (The origin of Random Assault in space) *It's not being a Jew, it's saving for the future. **Mitch - You're turning into Dadslapper. **Matt - Let's jump off and crack open our beards. *Stop talking about Zelda. **Dave - Fuck you. **Matt - Richard is the Majoras Mask King. **Dave - No he's not fuck him and fuck you. *Spirit Tracks was the I can't buy Zelda games anymore. *I love that shit. I want her to spin on my dick. Furries ain't got shit on me. **Mitch - Add that to the gravestone Furries ain't got shit on me. **Matt - Jay yiffs me to death. *The biggest thing I wop out is Italian Saussage. *Kori is the most racist. **Kate - Her skin is dark. *George Takei is a dickhead for trying to get reparations from the Japanese Internment camps. *I will never forgive the Japanese fuck George Takei. *When canon is followed does it trigger you and make you feel oppressed? **Kate - Yes. **Mitch - Kate is Canon-Kin. **Dave - I hate you Mitch. **Matt - My prostate is being oppressed. **Mitch - I'm a special snowflake. **Dave - Shut up Mitch. *Are you telling me Hitler's 2nd in command was a shape shifting Jew? *I was going to bring up my manifesto on how we would be justified dropping the 3rd atomic bomb on Japan. Mitch *I work with really old people any my insults are fuck you you piece of shit go get heart cancer. ** Matt - Oh no. That's so rude. **Mitch - It's easy to make Matt sad. Isis dangling from a telephone pole. **Matt - Nooooo. *Motion contrls were well implemented in Skyward Sword. **Kate - Does anyone want to fuck my ass with an enormous cock with cactus spines in it? Motion controls are not good. *Who's buying 3 Kingdoms? **Matt - Jim Sterling buys all of them. *How was Dragonball Z bullshit? Find out on the next segment of Random Assault. *Want to talk about convoluted let's talk about the Mario timeline. David *First anime he mentioned was Homestuck. (Oh no.) *Kate I think you need to meet more people. *Do you know what you should read? **Matt - The Bible. *Mitch Shut the fuck up. *Dynasty Warriors is equal to Earth Defense Force. *Why are you talking to Jayson? **Matt - I like him. **Kate - You hang out with a tranny, but a furry is too much? **David - It's not right fucking anthropomorphized. Furries are fucking weird. It's not right. You can jerk off to anything. **Matt - I know. I freaked out at the fursuit and sunglasses. Furries, Mitch you are related to one. **David - The gas leak at a fur convention. If you laughed you are a good person. Don't tell me I'm wrong for thinking fucked up shit is weird. **Matt - I feel the same way about homosexuals. *If you victimize yourself. Go fuck yourself. **Matt - No, furries should burn in hell. Forever. JAYSON. *Speak ill of Robin Williams? **Matt - Fuck Robin Williams. *It's Kingdom Hearts the story doesn't make any sense. **Matt - I hate the word Interquel so fucking much. <-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 164|Next Episode -->]] Category:Episode Category:Alex Category:Kate Category:Matt Category:Mitch Category:David Category:Guest Category:Rich Category:Willy